New Zealand Weekly Update #51

9th of October until 15th of October 2023

Approximate reading time: 7 minutes

Lets get it started

Happy sunday, happy rain. Time for blog and some talk about the last week. It does not seem like there is gonna be a big adventure the next few days. Rain everywhere. Time to relax, to rest and to refocus a little bit more. This week was full of sports, full of work and right now, I am kinda tired and I feel like being in the need of a little more resting times. So it shall be. I keep going with the training for the triathlon and it can be really tough, but also quite rewarding as well. Sport always gives me kind of an opportunity to be by myself. With my mind. My thoughts, my emotions and thinking about problems and solutions as well. Or to just enjoy sweating, feeling the heart pumping and the rewarding moment when finishing a training. And having lots of food after sports is amazing 🙂
Lets have a look back fellas.

Different ways of movement

Last week saturday, I have been in Queenstown with a couple of friends to go out for some drinks and dancing. And by accident, I have met a friend of mine from Wanaka and we were talking about our plans for the next days and if we want to share some time together. And for whatever reason, we decided to go for some horse riding on monday. The last time I have been doing this was back in 2007, ages ago. And this was quite a scary experience. Sitting on this tall horse, no one was leading and I was not sure what to do, how to tell the horse where to go and I was afraid of falling off this huge animal. So why not doing it again? So we boooked a trip close to Wanaka on monday. Perfect weather conditions, amazing area and a really great guide as well. My horse, Max, was a 17 year old fella. Kind and relaxed, brown color. So we put the helmets on, sat on our horses and made our way along some amazing nature. And it was great. The guide told us how to interact with our horses, how to tell them where to go, when to stop, when to move and how to go a little faster as well. From time to time, I was afraid that Max will throw me off his back, I think he can be as stubborn as me – good match 🙂
From time to time we had a little break to enjoy the surrounding area and nature. To take some pictures and to just enjoy the moment and the time together. At the very beginning, I was quite nervous, a little afraid. But from time to time, I felt more relaxed and was able to enjoy the trip. And this experience is something, I would never miss and what I will definitly want to do again. For a longer time, for more nature. And to become more comfortable sitting on one of this amazing animals 🙂

Forgiveness

Having a look back in to our past can be sometimes pretty tough. Looking back to situations or moments which made us upset or angry can still affect our presence and even our future. Every single one of us has those kind of memories. Situations, where people treated us in a wrong way. In a bad way. In a hurtful way. And looking back to those memories can reveal the past emotions again. The pain. The struggle. The feeling of being not able to change it. And yes, we can not change the past. We can not change what has happend. We can not change, what we have felt, what we have experienced and what could have been different. And we are also not able to change things we have done wrong. Things we could have been doing better or different. There is no way to change the past. And the more we try to push, the more we try to think about what could have been different, the more we struggle. The more we are stuck in those past emotions and thoughts. The less we are living in the presence.
Thinking about situations in my life where I have been not able to change something about them, where I have not been able to defend myself, I become aware of the fact more and more, that most of the times it was the struggle of the other person. Their struggle. Their demons. Their emotions. Their problems. And their lack of being able to handle the situation in a better way. And so they have not been able to act in a different way. In a better way. In a healthier way. They just did something wrong. They have made a mistake. And so do we from time to time. We make mistakes. Again and again and again.
And I become aware of the fact more and more, that there is only one way out of this circle. Out of being stuck in the past and the painful emotions.
To forgive. To forgive people for their mistakes. To forgive the people for making me upset. For make me feeling worthless. Helpless. Useless. Since most of the times, their actions have been never about me. But more about them. And about their lack of being able to deal with the situation in a better way.
Forgiving is a long-term process. A tough process. Which needs attention, time and energy. And honesty. It is not about forgiving just to get rid of the emotions and the past. It is much more. It is about honest and real forgiveness. To know about the fact, that there is nothing we can to to change the past. Nothing we can do about what has happend.
It is more about the fact, that most of the times, we are a prisoner of the past. And we try to change something we can not change anymore. But we can change our point of view and the way the past is affectiing our presence and future. Our emotions. Our thoughts. And our way of dealing with ourselves and others.
Forvigeness is not easy. It is not about being weak. Or about releasing someone else from their struggles and pain.
Honest and real forgiveness gives us the chance, to release ourselves. To free us from being stuck in the past. To give ourselves the chance to become a better version. A better presence. And a better future. And to not forget, that we are the only ones who are able to change our way of thinking and acting.
Forgiveness is the key. And most of the times, it is also about forgiving yourself. FOr not being able to change anything about a situation or a moment. No matter why. And to learn out of it. To do something different the next time. For yourself, your balance and your peace.

What else to say?

No hikes ahead for the next couple of days, rain everywhere. So it shall be. There are plenty of adventures ahead. New runs. New experiences. New and unique happy moments. Time to rest and relax for now.
Happy weekend to you fellas. Enioy the time with good company, good talks and good emotions. Cheers.

Your DingyInternational
Felix