New Zealand Weekly Update #82

Last updated on Juli 15, 2024

13th of May to 19th of May 2024

Approximate reading time: 3 minutes

Lets get it started

First things first fellas, the book is ready, I have officialy published my book on amazon. Find it here. I am an author now hehe. Not too bad considering I was quite bad in writing at school. Usually I would get a 4+ for my essays (or a D+ which is the same). And I was not a big fan of writing, of getting rid of your thoughts. Not a big fan of deep talk. Or of thinking about different point of views and ideas. I was just quite narrow minded and stuck. And now? Well, still stuck but way more open-minded. Open for new ideas, new point of views. I would listen to people and their thoughts. I would reconsider my own thoughts. I would try to learn and to progress. Quite an interesting change isn’t it? I love talking to people, sharing ideas, experiences and trying to learn from each other. To be part of a community, part of a group, part of something bigger than we would be alone. And the fact is, we are not alone. People think about us. People would talk about us. People would remember us. And no matter how big the distance is between people, we are still able to affect their lives, to inspire them, no motivate them and to make their day. To give them an idea, a new perspective or just some hope and energy. We usually do not know about the influce we have on ourselves and to our surround area. But we should remind ourselves that each and everyone of us is special, there is no one like you or me. No one else has this unique mixture of thoughts, emotions, experiences and dreams. No one else . Think about it and stay special and unique.

Sadness

The heading itselfs tells everything. Sadness. This is what my week was like. For some reason I felt and still feel pretty sad. Upset. Tired. Lost. Stuck. The last couple of weeks have been tough. New Zealand has been tough. There have been some moments, where I was about to give up and to leave. To throw in the towel and to just give up. Give up on the idea of residency. Of living longterm in New Zealand. Almost a bike accident because a car hit me while passing. Almost drowned on the river with low flow, just because I got stuck in my kayak and flipped. My application for residency got rejected because of the decision of one single person and some immigration rules. No money left. More and more people are leaving Wanaka, my friend Tony left as well, some collegues resigned. I have to move houses again because of some „missing connection“. And I have to save all the money again for trying to apply for residency again in June. Well, all those things inbetween less than 6 weeks. I did not really thinkg about how much it was until I wrote it down. It takes time to process, it takes time to get up again. It takes time to say „fuck that shit, I keep going, I keep trying, I am not giving up“. It takes time, energy and patience. With myself and with the situation.

And it is necessary to understand and to feel, that New Zealand is not an every day adventure. New Zealand can be stunning, unique, adventurous, surprising, new. But it can also be challenging, tough, hard, expensive. It can be both. And it comes not only with happieness, joy and great moments. It comes with doubt, it comes with steps back. It comes with punches. And it also comes with sadness. Something, we love to avoid, We love to push down. We love to ignore. And I tell you something, it does not work. Not at all. I was watching a movie recently with some friends. Inside out. And it tells you one important lesson. It needs sadness to be happy. It needs sadness to move on. It needs sadness to solve problems. It needs sadness to feel happy. And it needs sadness to conect with yourself and other people. Sometimes sadness is the way out. Sometimes sadness is the way for progress, the way for moving on, the way for more. It is not about being sad all the time. About complaining and not looking for a way out. But there is a reason for being sad, for being happy, for being upset, for being full of joy. Maybe sadness wants to tell us that it is time to move on. That it is time let go. That it is time for change. That the past is gone. That things will not be the same anymore. And that there is nothing we can do about it. No matter how hard we try. Which does not mean that it will be worse than before. It will be just different. It will be new. And it might be better than before. Being sad is something good and necassary. To cry a little bit from time to time and embracing the sadness is good. It is healthy. It reduces the mental pressure. And I think there is something very important to end this section. I think it is very important that if you are sad, that you talk about out. Let people know. Call them. Catch up with them. Grab that shoulder and get that hug. Transform your sadness into a feeling of being save, being loved and being protected. Transform it into a feeling of not being alone.

What else to say?

Well, as said, this week has been tough. Not busy, but tough. It seems like there is so much change going on that I can not keep up with the pace. I am not fast enough to keep this speed. When I arrived in Wanaka I truly believed that quick change is something good. That having new people coming into my live and leaving after a certain amount of weeks is something exciting, But it isn’t. It is great to meet new people, do not get me wrong. But is is so very important to have a stable base of people around you. Peole who know you, understand you, support you and sometimes just sit next to you having a drink. Social stability is such an important pillar of your house of health. Mental and physical health. Because usually feeling at home and safe is not only a decision about the location. It is also about the people around and with you. The people around you can be a reflection of who you are, where you are at and where you possibly can go.

Have a wonderful week fellas. See you in a couple of days
Your DingyInternational
Felix