New Zealand Weekly Update #23

Last updated on April 3, 2023

27th of March until 02nd April 2023

Approximate reading time: 8 minutes

Lets get it started

Sunday, time for updates, news and thoughts from New Zealand. I just came back from a hike I did this morning called Sawyer Burn. Quite a nice one landscapewise. The first part is in the forest, all the way up, afterwards quite exposed and surrounded by mountains and Lake Hawea behind you. The hike itself might take you about 3 hrs in total if you are fit. It ends at Sawyer Hut, a hut which was build 1960 and which has a quite interesting interior – watch out in the video 🙂 . The hike itself was really necessary and good for me as well, as I needed to see some new areas, to free my mind, to be in the nature and to breath a little more. And it was worth it and supportive as well. My mind is relaxed.
And plans change from time to time. In a nutshell – I just got a job offer from Ocula, the optician and optometrist company in New Zealand with currently 4 shops (Christchurch 2*, Queenstown, Wanaka). And this job offer will support me with staying in Wanaka during the winter season, paying my stuff, saving money and maybe also to apply for a residency 🙂
Canyoning season is over for me as the whole season took a lot of energy away from me, there has been some „trouble“ with the company as well and things happened that I did not and do not agree with – so I decided to quit earlier than planned. And now it is time to relax a little bit and maybe to travel around the south island soon.
Well, lets talk about what was going on this week 🙂

Queenstown is calling

As there is no canyoning going on anymore this season, I have a little bit more time for myself. And for friends. So Anthony and I decided to drove to Queenstown on Thursday to go for some shopping and to pick up a friend of mine, Janine, who was supposed to arrive at the airport in the afternoon. So Tony and I had a great breakfast at Kai Whaka Pai and we started our trip to Queenstown with my new car, a Ford Mondeo which I just bought on Monday from a local Kiwi guy.

Lets hope that this car will be more reliable than the former one 🙂
So we went to Queenstown for some walks in the town and for some shopping at Warehouse, and Pack’n’Safe.

At 14.30, we picked up Janine who was flying from Auckland to Queenstown and who wants to spend the winter time in Wanaka as well. Back in Wanaka, we already prepared ourselves for a birthday party in the evening. The topic of this party: „Dad“ – dress yourself as a Dad. And we did. Tony as an old dad in a poloshirt with glasses and I was dressed as a sugar daddy, with a nice Silk bathrobe, sunglasses and gloves :). And we ended up with heaps of other people on three different pubs.

And this time, I was not good enough at pool and I lost a bet. And I had to swim naked in Lake Wanaka in the middle of the night… well. If you lose a bet, you have to stick to the deal. And honestly, it was not too cold in the lake while being inside. The walk back home was much worse :).

As Janine is new in town, I showed her the area a little bit on friday. Spots like Wastebusters, the Wanaka tree, different pubs, the grocery store and we had a nice lunch at the foodtruck area in Wanaka as well.

To please or not to please

This week, I was talking with different people about a phenomenon that might be most of you are aware of. About that sometimes we change our own bevaviour when we meet new people and try to impress them, for whatever reason. When we try to act special, to move in a different way, to talk in a different way as well. To try to impress those people so they might like us a little more. To try to show them that we are special, unique and that we deserve their attention. Sometimes it is also about doing something for those people, put more effort into them than into ourselves. Support them more than necessary, change our plans way too often for them just to show them that they might need us.
But in the end, all this behaviour is not really usefull and also not thought in the long term. In the beginning, it might work but little by little, all those trials will fail. As you don’t be yourself and as you are not authentic – and people will recognise and feel that after a certain amount of time.
I also catch myself trying to please others from time to time. Please them way too much. Invest a little bit too much time into their problems instead of my problems. Just to make them aware of that I am special. That they might need me. That they appreciate my time, my support, my effort. But in the end, the right people appreciate me even if I am just there. Without doing anything.
This behaviour of trying to please others again and again just leeds to dissatisfaction and anger. As there will be a point, where expectations don’t meet each other anymore. Where your support is not appreciated enough or where people are used to your support way too much and expect you to be there for them at any time for any reason. And this leads to a situation full of pressure and dependecies. And in the end, it is not them who are depended on you – it might be the way around – and you need their attention to make you feel enough.
Well, you see, changing the own behaviour just to please others might be not the best idea if you want to be authentic and honest with yourself as well.
So what is the solution?
Try to be authentic. Try to ask yourself „Is it really just about the other person or is it also about my own needs? And if it is about you as well, what is it? Do you just need attention? Do you need someone who is grateful for your time? Do you don’t know what else to do with your time? Do you feel lonely? Or do you really just want to support (even if there won’t be any thanks?). Ask yourself, be honest with yourself and decide. It is not meant to be to never help anyone again, but it is about you as well. It is about if you might need this kind of support more than other people just to make you feel more needed, more important, more appreciated. And if so, this can be a really painful process longtermwise…
Talking about pain, I had a quite interesting talk with a friend of mine from Germany the other day about if certain types of pain will get less from time to time. Pain after a relationships ends for example, or the pain when you have lost an important person in your life. And this topic deserves an own section soon in one of the next updates but I just had one answer for her and I really believe, that this was a quite helpful answer for her.
I don’t reckon, that certain pain will be less intense, less painful, less energy-consuming. But as we are more experienced, as we learned how to handle pain, as we move on, we might be able to handle the next painful situation in a much better way. In a faster way. In a more reflected way. So the pain might be the same, might be as intense as always. But we are able to handle it much better. As we can decide if and how long we gonna suffer from it.

What else to say?

Well, what else to say. I just booked my flight back to Germany, as my best friend is supposed to get married soon. And of course, this is an appointment, I must not miss. Even though it is a long journey, an expensive one and even though it might needs a lot of energy as well. Doesn’t matter – I will be there! And I will use the time to meet some friends and family. To have some talks, to share some time, to hug people I missed way too long. And to enjoy Germany for a couple of weeks before I fly back to New Zealand 🙂
Wel, it is an exciting time. Changing. Challenging. But never boring. Keep you updated next week again – have a lovely and great week guys!

Your DingyInternational

Felix