New Zealand Weekly Update #36

Last updated on Juli 3, 2023

26th of June until 2nd of July 2023

Approximate reading time: 8 minutes

Lets get it started

Blogpost delayed, sorry guys. This time the update is a little late, since I was on an overnight hike at Brewster Hut and was not able to write any blog. Instead, I enjoyed some time alone at the mountains with great weather, great views and some me-time (mostly). And you might remember my update #18, where I have been at Brewster Hut the first time with some friends of mine. On the way back, we gave some hitchhikers a ride to Wanaka and we shared numbers. And guess what? Yesterday, as I was about to make my way to Brewster Hut again, one of those hitchhikers (Lisa) sent me a message. This is kind of really crazy stuff and I am still stunned about this coincidence. Well, we will catch up and have some talks. For now, lets have a review about the week (which is obviously most about work and some activities afterwards…)

The week in a nutshell

What to say, still working at OCULA (and still kind of enjoying it, mostly because of the team and since I become a little more confident in the tasks, in how to talk to the customers and in getting to know the company more in detail as well). You can tell that Wanaka becomes more and more busy during the winter season. More people in town, more people in pubs. Just more people. And sometimes, I am quite happy to escape from the trouble and just be out by myself. For example by going for a run, as I did on Thuersday again. It was about to get dark so I decided to make my way back from work home fast and go for a little run. And after about half the way (10km) I could tell that my running shoes are down and ready for a replacement. Since normally, those running shoes give me a little push forward since they have an included carbon sole. So the energy you put into the ground is released back. So it feels sometimes like a litte extra. A little more comfortable. A little faster. But thuersday? Nothing. No push forward. The harder I tried, the faster I wanted to run, the more sore my muscles felt. The more slow I became. And so I ended up struggeling to finish my halfmarathon distance. And I am definitely ready for some new running shoes, to keep running fun 🙂
Friday, I went with my collegue Anne to Kai Whaka Pai for a couple of drinks, since there was a ski season opening party and they handed out some prices as well (e.g. new ski and a new snowboard). Unfortunately, we did not win anything. And the pub was really, really crowded. The queue to the bar was so long, people had to wait in front of the toilet dorrs, which are on the second floor… 🙂
And what to say about saturday? Work until 4pm, rushing to the recreational center to play some badminton and table tennis and preparing the hike to Brewster Hut afterwards.

Brewster Hut or „How to Self-Dependence“

Finally, I decided to go for an overnight hike in winter time and the plan was to go to Brewster Hut, since the weather was about to be stunning. So I went to down early sunday morning, got some new spikes for my shoes, some groceries and some coolant for my car. Unfortunately, there is a leak and all the coolant went out of my car again… So I asked Tony to use his car to make my way to Brewster Hut. And I got his car (Tony, you are a legend). At first, you have to cross a little ribver to get to the starting point of the track and it was freeeeeezing guys! But anyway, fresh and clean feet make your way much more easier 🙂
And after the river crossing, all the way up to the hut. Steepk sections in the forest, snow arround me and a Kea who just came out of a little bush and flew right past me. What an amazing start! After 90 minutes, I made my way out of the forest and hiked along the more exposed area on a small ridge, partly slippery and partly dangerous as well, if you don’t take care. Hut ahead! After 2h and 10 minutes, the first reward! I took a little break and decided to make my way even higher to the glacier, this time with spikes on my shoes, since it became even more slippery and dangerous. And I just followed some footstepns in the snow, which made it much more easier for me.

After 60 minutes, some hikers came along my way , they stayed in the Brewster Hut last night and were about to make their way back to their car. So I kept going alone and made my way to a little hill with a stunnign view to the glacier and the ice caves. This time, I decided to not go down since it would have taken too much time. So I just made mysfelf a tea, relaxed and enjoyed the silence. Pure silence in the middle of nowhere. Sun. Snow. Blue sky. And silence. Pretty powerful and peaceful. And then the way back to the hut. Just me. Some newspapers, my book, some food. And a stunning, honestly a stunning sunset! And a full moon afterwards. And me in between this scenery. With a book in my hands, some tea next to me and my headtorch to be able to read.

And what was the book about? About three important questions in life.

Who am I?
Where am I going?
And with whom?

The first section explains details about how to be able to find out who we are. And it explains that even though we think we are independent, we are not. Each of us is dependent on something. And it explains how toxic it can be to being dependent on someone, especially in a relationship. It might sound romantic to say „I am not able to live without you“, since you just want to express how much you love a person. But it builds up a lot of pressure on you and on the person who you love. And it puts you into a position of a so called codependency. You might not decide anymore for what you really want and for what you really are, but for what others want. And in the end, it makes you inauthentic.

And there was something more written in the book, which might sound hard, but after rethinking this again and again, I agree with this.
None of us is dependent on anyone else. Even if you think, you might not be able to live without someone else, you can. It might be hard, it might take time, but it is possible.
Because in the end, and this was one of the conclusions of the first section, we are just dependend on one person. On ourselves. (except of course if you need a surgery, life saving medications, if you are a baby and need your parents and so on)
And the author calles this a Self-Dependence.

Only we know, what we need, what we want and who we are. And only we are able to take care of all our younger versions, with all the struggles and the experiences we have had in the past. So we need to decide, how to achieve something. How to treat ourselves right and how to get what we need and want. And with this knowledge we can interact with other people and express ourselves. It is quite a challenge to explain those sections in detail, but in the end, it is about one important fact.
We can live without others, we are not dependend on others, even if we are in a relationship, in love, even if we spend our lifetime together. We are always able to live by ourselves, always able to make own decisions for ourselves. Always able to stand up for ourselves. Since sometimes, we are the only ones who will do so. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to be egoistic, because being egoistic means taking care about yourself and your dreams.
For me, it is quite plausible. Sometimes, I would love to go for a hike with others. To go for new adventures with others. To share. Or to just not be alone on a hike, which might be difficult, a little dangerous or quite long.
But sometimes, they have no time, they have to work or they are just not interested in this kind of adventure. And so there are two options. To stay at home, because I think I am dependent on their company. And miss new adventures, stunning nature and a story to tell. Or I just decide to go on my own, to take the chance, to take the risk, to be alone, but not lonely. And to do what I want and need to to without being dependend on someone else. To reload my energy to be able to share this with others. To just be myself.
And this is just one expample out of many others. Being self-dependend and egoistic doesn’t mean to don’t care about others feelings or thoughts, but it is about being yourself and try to do what you need to to to be yourself, to be authentic and to share positive energy. Because if you are yourself, you can interact in the best possible way with others. And being yourself makes you special. Makes you unique. And makes you important to this world…

What else to say?

Back in Wanaka, with a coffee and a nice breakfast after a cold night in the hut is just amazing. It really is about the small things, about the small moments. And sometimes about a good book and some tea. While being alone at Brewster Hut, I have thought about so many people. Who are not part of my present life anymore and about people who are still with me. And even though I look back and miss some of those people, it it just about one important fact for me. That all of them are happy and live their life as its best. And to enjoy every single moment. Because looking back makes me aware of the fact, that sometimes, I was not able to enjoy the small and important moments. And this could be doing the groceries together, sitting in the park with a book and some nice music or just have a walk together in town. Small, everyday, unspectacular moments. Which are sometimes the most stunning ones 🙂

Your DingyInternational
Felix