New Zealand Weekly Update #45

Last updated on September 4, 2023

28th of August until 03rd of September 2023

Approximate reading time: 5 minutes

Lets get it started

Good Morning fellas. Hope you had a great week and you can enjoy some time off to recover, relax and rethink. This week has been a quite demanding one, since I was (and I am still) pretty sick. It seems like the flu is going around as well as COVID. So I was off on Tuesday as well instead of working to get a little more rest and more sleep. And since Wednesday, I was back at work. And on the retail floor, it was just me and my manager Shingie, since the rest of the staff members are sick as well. So we went through the week trying to keep the shop going and supporting our customers as best as possible. Keep smiling, keep supporting and keep going on. But for now I am glad to be off for two days and get back on track. And fortunately, I can pick up my car tomorrow and I am flexible again and can drive around for some adventures and hikes soon. 🙂

Acting instead of talking

Wanaka is a great place to meet new people, to share stories, adventures and to have some unique time together. You meet people from all over the world. With different point of views, different energy levels and different quirks. And sometimes you can build a friendship or a connection with those people, even though most of those won’t last for too long, since most people will move on or leave town. Which is the exhausting part, since you spend energy and attention to those people. They become a part of your daily life. So you have to adjust yourself to this pace and get used to it. And sometimes you have to take a step back and try not to invest too much of your energy into those people, who will leave soon anyway. This is something I realised after 6 months of being here in Wanaka. I felt tired of meeting new people. Of having the same smalltalk again and again. Of having this kind of superficial relationships with them. Of „loosing“ them again and again and again.
But from time to time, some of those people stay a little longer and you can build a real friendship and connection. And you are able to get to know those people, spend more time together. Real quality time. Not just on new adventures, but also by just hanging around together and having good conversations about this and that. And of course some deep talk about the past, about the struggles and things we still have to work on.
And having said that, you are sometimes able to look behind the facade of your first impression of those people. You are able to understand them much better. Why they behave, like they do. Who they are, how they became the person who is standing right in front of you. And sometimes you realise, that some of those people are just wearing a mask. To protect themselves. That some of those people are not searching for a real connection. They are just searching for short-term attention. For a short-term refill of their own energy. As they struggle. Are afraid of building up deep connections which they might loose again. And might feel like being left behind again. As they experienced that already quite often in their past. And they would loose control. So sometimes, people just build up this superficial image of being really special, of being super excited, busy all the time and of being really interested in other people. But having said that, after a certain amount of time you realise that those people are not really interested in deep connections. They just try to protect themselves. To keep the control. To keep their walls. Soon, their words don’t match their actions anymore. They start ignoring your worries, your words, your feelings. And you can tell, that the first impression of those people does not correspond to reality. If you are lucky, you are able to understand why they behave like they do. Most of the times you will not be able, since you know way too less about them, about their past, about their story and about their fears. Sometimes, you do.

And eventhough this kind of knowledge does not change the situation of them acting different out of the sudden, it helps you to understand, why they act like this. And most of the times, it is just because of them being afraid. Being afraid of being alone. Or being rejected. Or being left behind. Of feeling worthless, not good enough, not perfect enough. And this is a quite sad story. Because with their changing behaviour, they hurt people around them and even more important, they hurt themselves sooner or later. As they are not aware of this toxic behaviour. As they are not really aware of them struggeling. Of being scared. Afraid. Of feeling lost, lonely, not appreciated and not worth enough for anyone. Not even for themselves.
So what to do with those situations, with realising that the more you look behind the scenes those people show two faces of themselves?
Well, that depends.

On how their behaviour affects you. So if they disturb you inner peace, if you have the feeling to give more and more and more in order to receive less and less and less, it is time to take a step back. To stop them affecting your life, your balance, your energy. To focus on yourself. To recharge. And re-balance. Because their struggles are not your struggles. Their story is not your story. Their way is not your way. Your ways just crossed each other for a reason. For you being able to learn something out of it. To learn and grow for yourself. And you are not responsible for them at all. You are not responsible for their own process of healing, of dealing with their mental backpack and with finding their inner peace and balance.
Your are just responsible for one person.
Yourself.

What else to say?

Being sick for almost two weeks now, I feel that it is getting a little better from day to day. That my body is coming back. Step by step. And that I am able to get out for runs and hikes soon again. To recharge myself. To breath the nature again and dwell in silent and scenic spots. To re-focus and sort my thoughts. To clean up my mental main memory. To be able to share my positive and honest energy with people around me, who appreciate my company and who are able, to match their words and actions. Who are honest and in balance. Who are worth my time, my attention, my company, my energy and myself.
Speak you next week guys, enjoy your time, keep your inner balance and spend time with people around you, who fill you up with positive energy and make you smile. Make you welcome and appreciated. Who make you feel comfortable.
Good news at last! You can now read my stories and experiences on my Camino also in English! Just switch the language on the sidebar and enjoy. (unfortunatelly, this new setup does not work they way around – so my blog about New Zealand is just available in English 🙂 )

Your DingyInternational
Felix