New Zealand Weekly Update #85

03rd of June to 09nd of June 2024

Approximate reading time: 5 minutes

Lets get it started

This week I am not late with the weekly update. I am sitting in front of the fire place, having a coffee next to me and I am ready so write down some memories about the last week. Sometimes it still feels quite new and unknown to me to write down my thougts, my emotions and things that have happend. This weekly blog has become something like a diary to me. Something I am usually looking forward to. Something, where I can „get rid“ of my thoughts and struggles. Because there is something true about the saying that when you speak out or write down things, they become less powerful. Their impact becomes less and less and less. Sometimes, this diary has become my therapy and helped me through tough times. Because as said recently, New Zealand is not only beautiful, happy days and smiles 24/7. It can be tough, challenging, hard, exhausting. And sometimes I would ask myself the question why. Why the fuck am I going on? For what reason? For which outcome? For which feelings or emotions? And then I remember that I never really had an idea of what is next. I never really had a life plan or a straight road to follow. I just did what I did hoping that the way would lead me along to something beautiful. I never was passionate about optics, but it gave me the option to work in New Zealand. I never was passionate about studying Optometry, but it might be my way to get residency. I was never keen working i research, but I have learned so many things, made so many friends and I am able to ask more serious questions now because of this time of my life. I never really wanted to work in optics here in New Zealand, but it was the only way to stay and I have met some of the most wonderful people. With a pure heart and a pure soul. Generous people, kind people, inspiring people.
And of course the way was full of pain, of suffering, of doubt. And it still is full of those things. But there is a reason those things would show up. Those things might test us, might show us another direction, might lead us to another point of view, to another focus. And they might lead us to a better version of ourselves if we are ready to let go, to accept and to stop fighting.
This week I am not late with the weekly update. I am sitting in front of the fire place, having a coffee next to me and I am ready so write down some memories about the last week. Sometimes it still feels quite new and unknown to me to write down my thougts, my emotions and things that have happend. This weekly blog has become something like a diary to me. Something I am usually looking forward to. Something, where I can „get rid“ of my thoughts and struggles. Because there is something true about the saying that when you speak out or write down things, they become less powerful. Their impact becomes less and less and less. Sometimes, this diary has become my therapy and helped me through tough times. Because as said recently, New Zealand is not only beautiful, happy days and smiles 24/7. It can be tough, challenging, hard, exhausting. And sometimes I would ask myself the question why. Why the fuck am I going on? For what reason? For which outcome? For which feelings or emotions? And then I remember that I never really had an idea of what is next. I never really had a life plan or a straight road to follow. I just did what I did hoping that the way would lead me along to something beautiful. I never was passionate about optics, but it gave me the option to work in New Zealand. I never was passionate about studying Optometry, but it might be my way to get residency. I was never keen working i research, but I have learned so many things, made so many friends and I am able to ask more serious questions now because of this time of my life. I never really wanted to work in optics here in New Zealand, but it was the only way to stay and I have met some of the most wonderful people. With a pure heart and a pure soul. Generous people, kind people, inspiring people.
And of course the way was full of pain, of suffering, of doubt. And it still is full of those things. But there is a reason those things would show up. Those things might test us, might show us another direction, might lead us to another point of view, to another focus. And they might lead us to a better version of ourselves if we are ready to let go, to accept and to stop fighting.
I really should write a book about all those things and thoughts, right? 🙂

Wu Wei

I recently discovered these two words while browsing on youtube, getting inspired by different videos. Talking about how to stop overthinking, about how to relax just by adjusting your breathing. And I came across this video talking about Wu Wei, a chinese concept, which could be translated to „inaction“ or „effortless“. This video was talking about a story of an author, who was very successful, won lots of prices with her books and who was very popular. So she decided to keep going and was looking for new ideas for her new book. So she kept looking and looking, thinking and thinking. She tried harder and harder to find a new topic. And she did that for weeks and weeks. Months and months. And she „failed“. There was nothing that really inspired her. She lost her passion, she lost faith and she „gave up“ on searching. And so she decided to step away from writing and on doing something else. As she was so popular and her bank account was filled, she decided to go for a walk each and every day. And while walking this one day, breathing and wandering along this wonderful nature, a thought out of the sudden came across her mind. A new, fresh idea. A topic for a book. And she was shocked. Suprised. Happy. And she went home, sat down and started writing again.
Wu Wei. Effortless. Inaction.
Some people would also call it as „being in the zone“, you just focus on one thing. You focus on the moment, not on the outcome. You just focus on yourself. On one single task. YOu just go with the flow. You keep it going without overthinking, overdoing. You just be. Without being lazy. You are just part of the zone, you are in the middle of the zone. And I was talking about this feeling a couple of weeks ago. It happend to me while I was swimming. I could tell, that my whole mind was calm, yet I was moving on and on and on. Counting lane by lane. Focusing on my technique, my breathing and on each and every lane. I was not focussing on those 50 lanes ahead of me. I was focussing on lane 49. On lane 50. 51. 60. 80. And out of the sudden, I did it. I stopped, catched my breath and had a look around me. And more and more, the noises came back. My surrounding area was more present again. And I got out of the zone.
If you want to read more about Wu Wei, check out this webpage.

What else to say?

It is easy to say that all things happen for a reason. It is easy to say that bad times are necessary for a better future especially when you are in the middle of those fucked up moments and situations. It is so very hard to live those words, to truly believe in them and to try to focus on the good things, on the learnings and the fact, that things will change, for the better. A learning for me this week was to trust my gut feeling. To never doubt it. To speak out what I have to speak out, withoug being afraid of being rejected or judged. We are allowed to trust our gut feeling, there is a reason for that. It comes with a certain experience, that our mind will never fully understand. It either comes with those butterflies or with this uncomfortable feeling of someting is not right. And I dare you, I dare myself, to trust it. I dare you, I dare myself to not doubt it. And to communicate it. To ask questions even if you are afraid of the answer. To ask those questions again if you are „not happy“ with the answer or if your guts are still feeling weird. People who mind, don’t matter. But people who matter, don’t mind.

See you next week
Your DingyInternational
Felix