New Zealand Weekly Update #89

Last updated on Juli 15, 2024

01st of July to 07th of July 2024

Approximate reading time: 5 minutes

Lets get it started

And here it is. The second half of this year. I can not believe how fast the last couple of months have passed. I feel like I just finished my first Triathlon in January. And Wanaka Challenge afterwards. It feels like it has happend yesterday and at the same time it feels like it has been ages ago. Especially looking into the last couple of weeks, not doing a lot of sports, not doing any big hikes. Just working, saving money. Sleeping. Working. Sleeping. Sleeping. Working. Almost like in the movie Groundhog day. Always the same and slightly different, at least for the main person in the movie.
And for some reason, not doing a lot of sports at the moment does not freak me out as I am used to it. I am still quite balanced (if we can say balanced looking back into all the shit that already has happened this year). I am still going, I keep working, I keep saving money, I keep focusing on the residency application and on what is next. I try not to allow more chaos coming into my mind. Sometimes it works, sometimes not 🙂
And I still have moments at work, which are just magical. Not because of the job, the tasks or the environment. But because of the people. Recently I have met a customer, she walked in. I said hi and checked her in for her appointment. And for some reason we had a great energy. Something told me that she has been through a lot and that she has to tell some stories. After her appointment, we would do some small talk. She would tell me about her plans for the day, about making lasagna and about walking her dog. I would talk about my crumble creations, about my weekend plans and that I have to work the next day. Guess who walked in the next day with two lunch boxes of lasagna? This very lady! And we talked for almost an hour about this and that. About her childhood, about my connection to my mother, about how she would mobilize people for random working bees to support locals and so on. This made my whole day. A conversation with a stranger who feels like a close friend. And usually I can tell this energy after a couple of seconds when people walk in. So this very lady, she would go to church every sunday and she invited me to join. And I will. Not instantly, but this is an opportunity for some great conversations, some great talks and maybe the chance for way more lasagna 🙂
Talking about good experiences this week, as I was off on sunday, I was planning a hike to Roys Peak with Sammy. So we would wake up sunday morning, quite tired. Out for a coffee and a walk in Hawea, to her favorite tree by the beach. And then she decided that we are oging on a road trip instead of a hike. Well, first quite annoyed by this idea, since I am starving for some action, sport and movement, I agreed. So we went all the way to the west coast, beautiful drive, icy, sunny and blue sky. All the way to Jackson Bay. Remote. Lonely. Beautiful. And we would sit by the ocean for almost two hours. Listening to the sound of the ways. Smelling the salty air. Having some lollies (sweet snacks, this is how they are called here, we would call them gummybears or stuff like that) and afterwards some amazing food in Haast. And I was driving back all the way, quite carefully since it was icy as fuck and there have been some accidents lately on the roads and some serious car crashes.
So here we are, no big „adventures“, no big hikes, no new records or insane distances.
Just some good times with good people. Is this the recipe to happiness?

TED and other insights

Usually I would be on my phone in the morning while having a coffee and some breakfast, getting ready for the day. But for some reason, I find it quite useless wasting my time scrolling down all the time just to see the same shit again and again and again. Being on the phone is usually just a waste of time and energy. And even more, it does not make me happym, it does not give me any value. It usually stresses me out. Seing all those people having adventures, seing all those stories and updates. And creating my own „reality“ based on a couple of those updates. This is a toxic way to fuck with your brain, especially when you know you overthink everything.
So instead, I have started watching TED talks and other short informative videos on youtube. TED talks about addiction, about emotions. About how our brain works. And how we can control the way we think, we feel and we react. There was this one video talking about the brain. And talking about how we can explain it in three different layers. The basic layer responsible for all the necessary tasks like breathing, blinking, heart rate and stuff. The second layer responsible for emotions and feelings. And the third layer, the cortey, responsible for our thoughts. And how our thoughts can control our emotions and hence our heartbeat. And the way around. And that we are able to go into all of those three layers and affect the other layers. So for example just to think about an upsetting event, lets say you have lost someone, you can affect the emotional layer by crying and by doing so, your heartbeat goes up. And that you also can use this to calm yourself down in stressy situations and react in a more calm way. In a more relaxed way. But well, have a look into this video to check it out for yourself. Find it here.

Talking about Aha-moments and some more deep talk. I was talking to a friend from Germany lately and we had this conversation about how things are going, how we are feeling and what is happening in our lifes right now. And she was telling me that she had a conversation with her yoga teacher about some stuff. And that this teacher was asking her a question, and I am still thinking about it a lot. The question was „What are the moments you usually would say *No*“?. And while she was telling me this, I was already thinking about the answer in two different ways.
The first one, the classic one. We usually do not say no enough to people when it comes down to favors. We usually do not say no enough because we want to help people, support people and not let them down. So we keep helping, supporting and trying our best each and every day, usuall without asking for something. We don’t want to hurt anyone and we want to feel that people need us. That they could not do things without us. And we might be afraid that people would reject us if we say no. And I think this is kind of toxic, since we need to set our boundaries, we need to protect our own energy, our time and our resources. If we say yes to everything all the time, we will burn out. And at the end of the day, we will stand alone in the rain. And saying no from time to time (even without explaining why) is a very important and powerful way to protect ourselves and to keep our energy balanced.

But the more interesting part of this question about saying no, which came up in my mind, is the fact that we sometimes say No way too often. Not in a way to protect us. But we say No way too often to new opportunities. To new chances. New options. New connections. Like this opportunity one of my customers offered to me. Just to join for church. My first thought was „God no“ (kinda funny to name it like that). But then I was asking myself „Well, why not?“. I think that we miss out a lot by saying No. By being too lazy. Too comfortable. Too anxious. Too scared. Becasue we do not trust enough. Sometimes because we are just too arrogant. And sometimes because we think the outcome might not be good enough.

What else to say?

Well, this weekly blog was quite intense. A lot of thoughts and insights and a lot to think about. But I enjoy sharing my thoughts and my week with you. Even though it has not been as adventourus or exciting as last year. But it is not less challenging. And who knows what the future might bring to all of us.
Maybe it is about one situation, one conversation, one opportunity. And it might be about one less „No“ and life might change forever.

Your DingyInternational
Felix