New Zealand Weekly Update #24

Last updated on April 9, 2023

3rd of April until 09 th of April 2023

Approximate reading time: 10 minutes

Lets get it started

Its sunny outside, the warm sun feels amazing on the skin. I just went out for a run this morning as I did not had any plans for today. It was quite cold when I started, but after half the distance the sun felt nice and cozy. And even though I struggled a little bit today to finish my run (21.1km) below 1.45h, it was a great start in the day. Now I am sitting in our shared house, with some nice coffee and some good food. Thinking about the past week, about conversations I have had, about thoughts showing up in my mind. Well, lets write it down 🙂

What you need and what you want

Tuesday evening, I finally met Max again, the guy who picked me up on my first day in Wanaka and drove me to the hosue of my former boss to stay there for a couple of days. We just met by accident on monday and had a talk to catch up soon – and we did it, at the Lake bar in Wanaka with a couple of beers and some really nice talks . Max lives above the garage of my former boss, together with his girlfriend, in an appartment and we had some nice talks about relationships, about how a good relationship should work and how they manage to keep their relationship stable, serious and growing. And he told me how their relationship started. They have been quite clear about what they want, for themselves and from each other. And that there are no compromises for certain topics. Max wanted to move to New Zealand (both are from Australia), Jess was clear about having a baby together. And both have been really clear about that they want each other, but don’t necessarily need each other. At the beginning, that sounded really, really strange to me. As if I love someone and want to be with someone, I always thought, that I need this person. That I can’t live without this person anymore. That I would feel lost, lonely and weak without this person. But what does it mean to need something? It means that you are dependent on something, on someone. That you might lose the control, that you might make too many compromises to keep it. That you give up yourself in a certain way. That you change. And that you become even more dependent. And that you put too much pressure into keeping something. And that you ush it awy in the end.
Dont‘ get me wrong – the idea of a serious, mature, unique, funny, emotional and stable relationship is and will still be in my head. To share adventures, experiences and emotions with the person you love is fantastic. It is wonderful, special and something I don’t want to muss.
But being in the need of a person, make things really, really complicated. Frustrating. Demanding. Much more challenging. And painful, if you lose what you need (or what you think you need). And I know about how people can change if they think they need something. You try to give more and more and more. You try to make compromises about things you are normally really clear and sure about. You try to change your own behaviour and character to please the one you „need“. And in the end, you still lose them. Because you are not yourself. You are not independent, honest with yourself and able to set your boundaries clearly.

So after all, what do we really need? Oxygen, food, water. To survive. No doubt about that. We need certain stuff to stay alive. This is something we can not decide. We have to eat. To drink. To breath. And we have to sleep. There is no option to decide otherwise.
But to add something, I reckon we also need relationships. People around us. Human interactions.
And we ourselves can decide with whom we want to enter into these relationships.

We can decide how much time we invest in people, how much we give, how we communicate and what we are willing to give up, to let go, to allow. And we alone decide where our own boundaries lie, how much we put up with and what we want to learn from our encounters with our fellow human beings.
But to know what we want, we need to know who we are. What we are. Where we come from. If you know who you are, who you want to be in the future and how to get there, then you are able to know what you want. Who you want. And you are able to understand, that there is a big difference between need and want.
So what have I learned from the conversation with Max? If you want something, try to get it. Show your effort, spend your time, say it! And don’t give up even though there will be obstacles in your way.
But remember, to be honest with yourself, to be yourself, stay yourself and remember, that everything is limited in time. And that the only person you really need in your life, is yourself.

Earnslaw Burn – through the forest

Thurday and friday finally, it was time for a new hike. Overnight hike, together with Laura and Brendan. They have been my customers beginning of february and are now good friends of mine. Both are working at Kai Whaka Pai (probaply the best bar in town 🙂 ). And we decided to go for Earnslaw Burn, as we heard that the view to the glacier is just stunning. So we made our way to Glenorchy, which is about 2 hours away from Wanaka and you have to pass by Queenstown. Fortunatelly, Brendan and I decided to get a new sleeping bag as it was supposed to be really cold in the middle of the night (and it was…). So we stopped at mountain warehouse in Queenstown for some shopping and went on to Glenorchy. Unfortunatelly, there is no grocery store in Glenorchy… so we had to buy our groceries at some kind of tourist center with a bakery and some grocery options (and they have been quite expensive). Reminder for the next hike, get your groceries in Queenstown or Wanaka and on the day before the hike 🙂
Finally, we arrived at the car park and got ready for the hike. We had to cross a gate and Brenan touched the electrified fence… shocking experience 🙂
And then we had to hike the forest, up and down. Muddy. Wet. And it took us ages to move on with our big bagpacks. As you have a track, but it is full of tree branches, logs and slippery as fu**. And unfortunatelly, Laura hit her head on one of the tree branches… . But she was able to move on. So we moved on and on through the forest. And I started to become angry as this way seemed like to never end… . After 4 hours of walking the forest, it opend up a little bit and we had to cross a river (which was quite easy). And after a couple of minutes more in the forest, valley and glacier showed up. And my mood just changed. What an amazing view! It is worth it every step in the forest.

So we kept walking for about 90 minutes and we ended up at a nice camping spot next to the river at about 6.30 pm. And as the sunset was already going on, we set up our tents and prepared some dinner (and some good Whisky as well 🙂 ).
Since we have been quite tired, we went to bet at about 9.30 pm and it was already freezing outside. So I made myself comfortable in my new sleeping bag (and it is nice and cozy, it would have been a fu**ing freezing night with my old sleeping bag) and we slept until 7 am in the morning.

Sunset and glacier, a really nice combination. Brendan and I decided to walk a little further into the valley and we hiked up a little hill in the middle of the valley, to sit and talk. And to enjoy the landscape, the waterfalls and the the glacier itself.
And at 10.30 am, we prepared ourselves for the way back. And as it was freezing in the night and the sun was shining, everything was muddy and wet on our way back. Wet feet, wet shoes, wet pants. Anyway, still a beautiful hike back.
After we crossed the river and having some breakfast, Laura managed to hit her head again on a tree log. And she was quite angry with herself and it looked really painful. She managed it to move on somehow and made her way slowly back to the car. And as we have been really hungry on the way back to Wanaka, we decided to stop at Burgr King and get some really fat, unhealthy and delicious burgers 🙂

What to say about Earnslaw Burn? Demanding. Wet. Muddy. Slippery. And longer that you might expect it to be. But worth it as soon as you enter the valley. And if you want to explore the galcier a little bit more, it might be useful to make it a three day hike. 🙂

What else to say?

Sometimes, you give a lot to people.
Time.
Effort.
Offers.
And doing that means to not expect something back. Just because you want to support people. Make them a better day. Make them smile. Make them feel more comfortable. Make them feel and know that they deserve it. That they deserve your time.
But if you keep going supporting again and again, it can be quite exhausting from time to time, as you sometimes forget about your own needs (talking about needs again 🙂 ).
And sometimes, small things in life show up and make you smile.
And while I was preparing my tent at Earnslaw Burn, I’ve found a message from a friend of mine. She secretly hid it in my backpack. And it was a message about saying thank you, about being grateful for my support, my time and about how comfortable she feels whenever she is in our house and around.

Well, that’s what it’s all about. It’s not about giving something back financialwise or materialwise. It is about being grateful and aware of other peoples effort and time… . It is about spending a little bit of your time and effort to make people happy, to make them smile. Because time is the most worth thing you can give to others.

See you next week

Your DingyInternational
Felix